best friends?

In this post, I'll just name my two friends A and B and a group C.

It's been a while since I felt this way. Before that, I had always thought that I had the best friend in the world. It only became clear that they are but just my own illusions. I won't deny that A was always there when I needed him the most, in most occassions. But that was not possible without much preparations, like informing him a couple of weeks in advance.

I was browsing for quotes and came across this saying, "I value a friend who, for me, find time in his calendar, but I cherish a friend who, for me, does not consult his calendar."

How true? I appreciate A. He always find time for me. While I acknowledge that we are friends of a very long time, I can't deny that our friendship is indeed on a bumpy ride. Anyhow, it is because he always find time for me that I valued him more than any other friends. However, I cherish true friends more because they are the ones who, without second thought, make time for me.

It was indeed the hardest weeks when I hadn't texted A, out of angst or maybe I was simply throwing tantrum. Days passed and soon two weeks passed, only to become clearer that he was only a friend who knows me better, who knows me long enough. In the two weeks, I received not a single message nor call. Until the day he left, I was completely clueless. Had I been one of his best friend, he would have asked me out or initiate a conversation or something during the two weeks, he could have told me he is departing, but nope. Nothing. I wasn't even important enough to send him off or see him depart.

Thankfully, the people sitting up there wasn't all that inhumane. I was bestowed another friend. This friend, I would never ave thought of mingling with someone like him, because he was always on high profile in the camp. He probably wouldn't even notice my existence.

I vividly remember that we were in the parade square in the first few weeks of our new unit, and for some reason, I asked why he was always so cheerful and smiling all the time even when the commanders are obviously picking on him. Apparently, his smile to every situation was a false impression but that was besides the point. I guess if i hadn't popped that question, making the first move, it would have taken a different turn. For all you know, we could remain just as platoon mate and our friendship never go beyond that.

Fast forward, all it takes was five months, B had already figured out a lot about me. Not everything, but that was good effort; at least he bothered to find out more about me than A, of nine years. How impressive; how sad?

I guess this was the difference: For A, i was the person putting in the effort to make the connection, but for B, he was the person who puts in the effort and his dealings with me felt sincere. At least the rejection rate is lower (haha).

Maybe it's the vision that we had in common, maybe it's the interest that we had in common, or perhaps it was just pure luck for me, we seem to have became  a better friend of each other as days progresses, and I think we had already become best friends.

Certainly, A and B both have a cherry and charismatic character, I believe they both are born leaders. But when I was with the latter, I felt safe, I felt assured and I felt engaged.

Sometimes, we don't talk, but it wasn't awkward silence because I don't have to think about a topic to talk about. Silence was probably for us to rest and we continue talking just naturally. Topics just flow naturally. More importantly, he is a friend I can rely on wihtout a second doubt. I know whatever that I do, he will guide me and protect me (and my interest). This is the kind of friend that is hard to come by in our era where everyone is trapped in a rat race. But, what makes things sad was that this is the kind of bond I could not find in A.

I think I need to distinguish a friend of long time from a friend of lifetime. A, along with C, I would probably be in contact with them, and they are obviously a friend of long time. B is definitely a lifetime friend. Because for someone who's constantly giving advice, who is sincere in his dealings, and who does not consult his calendar, I think we share a friendship beyond anyone's comprehension.

For that, I really thank god for a chance to this wonderful friend who share too much in common with me, and more importantly, who gives me a helping hand unconditionally. I also thank god for a group of friends who lasted 9 years and counting.

I guess a partner's next? haha!